THE TRAFFIC JAM THAT NEVER CAME

We often drive from KL to Perlis. Visiting Najwa's mum and family. 6-hour drive if the traffic cooperates. But does it ever?

6-hour drive if the traffic cooperates. But does it ever?

I know this. I've done this drive dozens of times. And nearly every time, somewhere between KL and Penang, the traffic locks up.

Brake lights. Stop. Crawl. Stop.

And Waze keeps adding minutes to my arrival time.

So I kept tensing up, sometimes even before we leave.

Thoughts running through my head. Shoulders tight.

Already frustrated about the jam that hadn't happened yet.

Najwa looked at me. "You okay?"

"Just... preparing for the traffic."

She laughed. "We haven't even hit traffic yet."

She was right.

I sat in KL, in a car that was moving freely, stressing about a traffic jam that existed only in my head.

And here's what happened.

We hit Ipoh. No jam

We passed the usual trouble spots. Clear.

We made it to Perlis in good time. Smooth.

The traffic jam I'd been tense about for two hours never came.

But the tension? That was real.

The frustration? That was real.

The tightness in my shoulders? That only faded when Penang was behind us.

I had created the entire experience - without the traffic.

This is what I see in coaching all the time.

People preparing for conversations that haven't happened yet.

Rehearsing arguments. Defending against criticism that hasn't been spoken. Getting tense about meetings that might go badly.

And the meeting goes fine.

But the anxiety? The preparation for disaster? That can take hours. Days. Weeks.

Real.

Messes up your life!

The mind doesn't distinguish between imagined threat and real threat.

It responds the same way.

Tension. Stress. Fight-or-flight activation.

Your body doesn't know the traffic jam is imaginary. It just knows you are telling it there's a problem.

👉 Here's what I learned:

The question isn't "Will there be traffic?"

The question is: "Do I need to create the traffic jam in my body before the road does?"

👉 Ask yourself:

What are you tensing up about that hasn't happened yet?

What traffic jam are you sitting in - that only exists in your head?

If you're spending more time in imagined problems than real ones, that's worth noticing. And if you want to learn how to stop doing that—reach out.

It's trainable. Happens through NLP

👉 And if you've been thinking about learning NLP - stop thinking.

The version of you that stays calm under pressure, trusts yourself in difficult conversations, knows what to do when nothing is going as planned - that version doesn't come from reading more books.

It comes from doing the work.

Categories: : Beliefs